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"Liberals Causing Global Warming By Worrying About It Too Much", Concludes Industry Funded Study

Global Warming Rise With Public Research Funding

Friday Mar. 6th, 2015:

SOUTH KOREA -- Climate skeptics rejecting the mainstream consensus on global warming are claiming victory in the publication of a new study, which shows that the human-caused component of climate change is mostly driven by natural forces rather than industry. The scientific establishment has supposedly been blind to these "endogenous" man-made sources of radiative transfer, due to their own selfish interests in the pursuit of lucrative government research grants. The new study has fixed this "glaring oversight" by incorporating the waste heat of climate research itself.

Published in the prestigious Asia-Pacific Journal of Atmospheric Science in South Korea, the Koch Industries funded study argues that in spite of exponentially increasing greenhouse gas concentrations, existing models of lower atmosphere thermodynamics fail to take into account the role of thinking in exporting heat loss. Citing "the observer effect," the paper argues that "the temperature anomaly itself is an artifact," which "no longer exists when observation is removed from the data."

"Without accounting for the fluctuation of future heat sources, the higher CO2 concentration by itself is meaningless," argues Richard Lindzen, M.I.T. professor of atmospheric sciences and co-author of the new work, Natural Anthropogenic Climate Forcings in Endogenous Radiative Transfer Models, "they have ignored the possibility of an 'intellectual iris effect.'"

The proposed mechanism refers to a process where the mind closes itself off when faced with excessive information: "With the advancement of economic development, societies will continue to split into polarities of extreme specialization and total ignorance, leveling off the net quantity of productive thought within an ever broader context of mindlessness." The information theoretic results suggest that as climate research propagates in channels, its quality will continue to degrade until achieving maximum entropy.

"We just do not know enough about the natural variability of the system," Lindzen told Fox News for a future special on the hubris of climate modeling, "the uncertainty of what we will refuse to know makes projecting our ignorance absurd."

Work as far back as the 1950s had shown that almost half of the heat loss from the human body is transferred out of the head. With only a moment's thought this seems intuitive, in light of the biological physics of human consciousness, given that basic energy budgeting shows the act of thinking is exceptionally wasteful. "The entropy in converting food into neuronal work of any kind is considerable," the study points out, "which is worsened by the inefficiency of food product life-cycles. With rising living standards comes greater meat consumption, which exacerbates the otherwise harmless methane from mass agriculture."

Given that our brain accounts for 20% of the energy use of our whole body in its baseline state --- which is highly efficient compared to supercomputers, such as those used for modeling climate change --- it becomes critically important to conserve excess thought processes against irradiating the trace gases in our very thin atmosphere. The intellectual activity of non-experts in policy issues is especially dangerous, with environmentalists being the worst offenders, obsessing over policy changes that will never happen.

"The 'hockey-stick' graph is not surprising at all," remarks co-author Willie Soon of the Harvard-Smithsonian Institute, "mean surface temperatures spiked at the same time climatology began intensely focusing on global warming. It is more than offsetting the primary factor of insolation, the Sun, which has actually been cooler in recent decades."

The work has undermined the consensus position of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, whose report has repeatedly explained prior fluctuations in the surface temperature record with purely geophysical factors. While most scientists regard the historical sensitivity of the climate to external forcings as reason to take the human contribution that much more seriously, the new study has established that the human aspect was actually the dominant radiative forcing at all times. The last ice age ended as the immediate consequence of the rise of human civilization.

"The end of the Roman Warm Period coincided with the collapse of the Roman Empire," claims the correlation of temperature with Western civilization, "with a drop during the rise of Islam, only to rise again in the Medieval Warm Period with the end of the Dark Ages and reclamation of the works of antiquity from the Arabs."

"Disastrous global warming was averted by the Mongol hordes and collapse of the Byzantine Empire, followed by the Protestant Reformation producing the Little Ice Age," the study illustrates with overlapping time series, "which was sufficiently regressive to cool the troposphere until the Enlightenment. The regional fluctuations in the various other world civilizations are consistent with the proposed causal mechanism."

Much of the increase in surface temperature over the past two centuries correlates with the progress of science and innovation in the Industrial Revolution, as opposed to the industrial activity itself which only provided "an enabling substrate" of carbon dioxide, "with a very strong excess of waste heat resulting from the modern research university model, which was expanded on the base of heavy government funding following World War II." Private research funding "for the immediate interests of industry" would be far more sustainable in the long run.

Calling for the return of the era dominated by private foundation grants, the authors argue that wealthy patronage is the most ecological way to conduct climate research, and the most effective way of preventing the adverse effects of climate change from being observed. They attribute the insignificant warming of the past two decades to the widespread influence of their own work.

Conservatives have embraced the study for finally placing anthropogenic climate change in its proper context. Many argue that a policy of laissez-faire is most appropriate, given the self-correcting nature of the system. The religious right instead regards their research as having sound biblical foundations, in that it returns man to the center of the universe, as opposed to "the consequences of man's actions" which follows from the false doctrines of secular humanism.

"What is called for now is prayer in schools," they counter, "with faith replacing reason wherever possible."

Whether passive or active approaches are employed, "chilling out" is the only way to cool things down. Sympathetic publications such as Forbes have begun highlighting the self-defeating nature of carbon mitigation policies, which they are quick to point out "are essentially reactive rather than proactive in preventing global warming at its source. Climate research to date has advocated policies more reflective of the left-leaning biases of scientists than the actuarial analysis of costs and benefits to shareholders."

"If our colleagues would stop working so hard to undermine the economy," the industry funded study concludes using the theories of rational expectations and dispersed knowledge, "the futures market will equilibriate with the climate, with just enough warming" to cancel out the ice age we would have entered in a few thousand years. "It is no big deal." Evangelicals say even these projections are unsound, since Jesus will return soon making all of this irrelevant.


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