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Stephen Hawking Takes Ice Bucket Challenge To Raise ALS Awareness

Stephen Hawking Takes Ice Bucket Challenge

Friday Aug. 15th, 2014:

CAMBRIDGE, United Kingdom -- Theoretical physicist Stephen Hawking, the world famous cosmologist and black hole expert suffering from Lou Gehrig's Disease, has taken the Ice Bucket Challenge to raise awareness for his debilitating condition. "I had never heard of ALS before," Hawking said after a several minute pause, referring to amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, the motor neuron disease which has left him completely paralyzed, "but Kip Thorne said if I did not do it, I would have to donate 100 dollars. So, I hedged my bets. Now I will only have to donate 10."

The Internet reacted very negatively to Professor Hawking's sophomoric waste of clean water, drawn from the lake next to his soaking apparatus, with YouTube commentators criticizing him for trying to weasel out of helping people suffering from his own condition.

"Hawking is so completely ignorant right now," said one anonymous user, "how would he feel if he lost someone he knew to ALS? This is incredibly selfish." Defenders have argued that Hawking has done more to raise awareness of ALS than anyone on the planet, and that his publicity stunt will do far more for raising donations than the same gesture being performed by other celebrities.

Self-righteous bloggers seem to have no sympathy for this argument, saying how inherently offensive Hawking's actions are given his privileged First World living conditions. "We don't all have hired help to wipe our asses for us," one Daily Kos writer sneered, "does he really believe dumping ice cold water on someone with a serious medical condition is something to joke about? Is this supposed to be funny or something? It's sick!" When reached for comment, Stephen Hawking was found unresponsive, since his wheelchair had completely shorted out.


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